Here’s why...
educating yourself,
practicing what you learn,
and never giving up
...are essential in building and maintaining friendships.
1. Educate Yourself
Understanding Social Dynamics: The first step in making friends is understanding social dynamics. Learn about body language, communication skills, and the different types of social interactions. Read books, watch videos, listen to podcasts (Like the Social Skills Lab Podcast by yours truly!), and take courses on social skills (Toastmasters, Improv Classes, etc)
Self-Awareness: Educating yourself also means learning about yourself. Understand your strengths, weaknesses, and what you offer in a friendship. Self-awareness can help you be more authentic and relatable to others. I learned so much about myself from Zen and other philosophies.
2. Practice What You Learn
Real-World Application: Knowledge is power, but only when applied. Practice your new skills in real-life situations. Start small by initiating conversations, joining social groups, or volunteering. I would go out several times a week to the mall and just chat up people working. I've also driven for Uber and that was a great way to practice!
Feedback and Improvement: Practicing allows you to receive feedback. Pay attention to how people respond to you. Use their reactions to refine your approach. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes; they are part of the learning process.
3. Never Give Up
Consistency is Key: Building friendships takes time. Don’t be discouraged by initial setbacks. Consistent effort and a positive attitude will eventually pay off. There are only 2 mistakes you can make!!! Not getting on The Path, and not staying on The Path...that's all you gotta know
Resilience: Not every attempt will be successful, and that’s okay. Resilience is about bouncing back from rejection or awkward situations and trying again. Each experience makes you better and more prepared for the next opportunity. You live on a floating piece of dust in the middle of the universe. In 100 years no one will remember the time you tried to start a conversation and it went nowhere....right?
Celebrating Small Wins: Recognize and celebrate small victories along the way. Whether it’s a meaningful conversation or a new acquaintance, every step forward is progress.
So Remember!
Building friendships is a journey that requires education, practice, and persistence. By understanding social dynamics, applying your knowledge, and never giving up, you can develop meaningful and lasting friendships. Stick with it, and you’ll get better faster, because your confidence will get better month by month...as long as you stick with it!
Nathan
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